Rhonda sorts out the socks

Rhonda tiptoed out of the apartment, holding a bag of mismatched socks under her arm as she pulled on the front door with both hands to make sure it closed all the way. She wore her most sensible sweater and sweat pants; it wasn’t the cold time of the year yet, but you could never be sure it wouldn’t get cold while you were out. She hopped down the stairs–always taking the elevator only to go up–and felt the refreshing evening air against her warm face, blush from the descent.

What to do with those sad, peerless socks? Forlorn dears, their mates lost to the land of hiccups and dropped phone calls. Donating them seemed slightly scrimpy, and she was certainly not going to just throw them out; not perfectly serviceable socks. Sadly, it was no longer Rhonda’s style to wear mismatched clothes, so that was out of the question as well. Socks, socks - there were dozens of them now and something finally had to be done. Rhonda had a plan, but it would take the sort of courage she wasn’t sure she had.

She walked on, down her queerly quiet street, pleased to find that, as she had predicted, everyone appeared to be home watching the long-awaited broadcast of the mayor’s gastric-bypass surgery.

The city park was dark by the time Rhonda reached it. She stuffed the socks in her pockets as she walked. The bag went in the key pocket on her shoe; she had thought it all through thoroughly. Now she passed the old pirate ship in the park, faithfully preserved for children to play in, Jolly Rogers waving silently on its masts. Then, the small animal zoo, as quiet as the tall buildings of Rhonda’s neighborhood this night.

And there it was, her destination - a wide clearing in the woods. It was brightly lit by moonlight, brighter than she’d expected. There was no stopping now. She took out an orange-and-pink toe sock and stretched it out.

In the morning, the news read:

PENIS EXHIBIT VANDALIZED.
UNIDENTIFIED VANDALS COVER OVERSIZED ERECT MALE GENITALIA ON AREA’S FAVORITE PUBLIC ART DISPLAY. ART COMMUNITY, PARK MANAGEMENT NOT AMUSED.

But Rhonda was amused, after a brief and very slight bout of guilt.