The first three movies I saw in the theater

I was three. My parents were young and busy. My babysitter was my teenage aunt, outgoing and hip. We lived in a small town without a mall, but with a movie theater—a single one. This is where I was ostensibly babysat. As far as I know about what my parents knew, they thought were were seeing age-appropriate movies. They were never particularly concerned with what me and my brother watched on TV, but they probably would’ve raised an eyebrow at my aunt’s theatrical selections.

I can’t be sure of the order, but these are the first three movies I remember seeing in the theater:

Parasite (1982)

“Paul Dean has creted a deadly parasite that is now attached to his stomach. He and his female companion, Patricia Welles, must find a way to destroy it.”

 For years I thought that anything called a “parasite” had the potential to grow into a truck-sized worm.

Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

“Virginia is proud that she belongs to a clique. The best students at a private school. But before her 18th birthday, a grueling set of murders take place and her friends are the ones who are falling prey. Could it be her?”

This introduced me to cliche-as-joke movie titles, I believe. 

Swamp Thing (1982)

“After a violent incident with a special chemical, a research scientist is turned into a swamp plant monster.” 

Completely terrifying. I had nightmares for weeks. This is the first and maybe last time I covered my eyes while watching a movie. I saw it again a few years ago and found it dull and cheesy. In my early memory, it was the scariest thing ever put to film.

If you’ve met me in person, you’re familiar with my mental health, such as it is.