Uniquely Texan Expressions

Ah, Texas—the Big Sky state! Home of barbecue, the Texas Cowboys, and Austin, TX. The only thing hotter than its always-sunny weather are the homespun idioms and phrases deployed in everyday conversation by its lovable, rascally residents. Here are some of the Golden State’s most colorful sayings that wouldn’t make a local Texasian “chicken-dance in dungarees” (be impressed or affected) but may leave a city slicker “scratchin’ their hat” (head).

• “What’s the matter, someone put beans in your chili? See, real Texas chili doesn’t contain beans.”
  
• “He’s half a sixpack short, meaning he has only three of the typical six items in a sixpack, because 2 × 3 = 6.”
  
• “Eat my shorts.”
  
• “He’s drunker than a badger stuck in a barrel! In my opinion, it’s unfair to place the blame solely on the badger! Not to mention counterproductive! Alcoholism is a disease, not a moral failing!”
• “Hi, I’m from Texas.”
• “Please don’t leave your bags unattended, and report any suspicious bags. Dallas/Ft Worth International Airport thanks you for your cooperation.”
• “She’s a tall drink of how-do-you-do… guv'na.”
• “You’re as sore as a rattlesnake with chronic obesity.”
• “Dance like no one’s watching, own guns like no one’s doing comprehensive background checks.”
  
• ““She’ll be apples” is Australian slang for “it’ll work out alright”!”
  
• “He’s all hat and no cattle! Now, about the chili again. Real Texas chili doesn’t cont